September 11, 2012

Let's get a little personal

So I'm going to give you a glimpse into my life off of the computer. Some of you may know, but most of you don't know that I deal with anxiety and depression. About 2008 I was first diagnosed with general anxiety/ depression. Since then it has gradually gotten worse, but I'm dealing with it day by day. That's basically all you can do is go day by day and just hope that things will go smoothly. Today is turning out to be a hard day. Having dealt with my little breakdowns for years now I can tell when they're going to come. I was looking forward to having some fun games today, but my body and mind is saying nope. Right now I am fighting off the tears and trying to keep breathing. Its not easy to admit to people that I cry and sometimes feel like I can't control myself. I know I'm not alone and have found many, many people around me actually deal with anxiety and depression themselves.

So what do I do when I'm feeling yucky...? I just let it happen which is actually pretty hard to do. One side of my brain is saying nope, you're fine and nothing is wrong. The other side though is saying, "OH NOES THE WORLD IS ENDING!! YOU'RE DYING, WE'RE ALL DYING, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE." I deal with this on a daily basis and just hope that it'll all go smoothly and I'll make it out okay. That's the kicker in order to deal with anxiety you need to face it head on. Let it take over and then slowly work your way back down so you know that you can control it. Also medications are needed as they also help to keep you balanced so you don't have to crash and burn as much as you would without them.

My mother and I
This website is one of the ones that I frequent and it has helped me with general information. Its called, IAMPANICKED and it's a great source to all kinds of info for anxiety and depression. I hope everyone understands why I get in funks and disappear. I'm really not trying to neglect you, I just don't have the mental drive at that time.
So there ya go...and now that I've typed a bit about it, I do feel a bit better.